So after I have been baking for over two weeks, I came to the conclusion that I more than hate it. Plain simple truth. I hate it. It is stressfull (in a bad way) and there is no real contact with customers (or anyone for that matter), so that's why I hate it. And it's actually making me very grumpy, so much that my room mate is this close to calling my manager and yelling at him: "Why do you stupid people make Sandro bake? Can't you see it's making him very depressed?!?!" So I talked to my manager. And Leah, the office angel. And John, the General Manager. Will still have to bake the next two days, because the manager has his days off and there is FREAKING NO ONE ELSE WHO KNOWS HOW TO BAKE!!!!!!!! Feel like calling in sick, just to make them realize how stupid they are. The problem is of course that they just know I'll do it and everything else too. For example two people called in sick and I ended up preparing all the food we sold today. Mash, gravy, peas, beans and of course all the pies. That's how much they're milking me. And I have no trouble working a lot or working hard. I'll do anything if I don't have to bake. Plus it's just not a good idea, because I would be better in any other position, just because baking keeps you from properly multitask. If they make me bake any longer, I will seriously consider quitting, which is a shame, because I actually like the job and everything. Just to give you a picture of how much I hate baking.

Then there is this whole thing with Sebastian who has a stall at Spitalfields. I think it is evolving into a friendship (the moment he turned out to be straight, my crush ended. So don't you worry about me. But he is a very funny and intelligent person.), but I kinda realized that I have very big trust issues with men. This is of course hardly surprising, considering my father and especially considering the guy that from now on will only be called "Heart Break Hotel Guy" just to mark his departure out of my actual life. You might now him better under his real name, Claudius. (Yes Julia, I know you are very proud of me!!!) But that doesn't matter, because stupid me is just very overwhelmed by the fact that we already reached the hug and cheek kiss state. Compared to that other guy who only brought himself to use the word "friend" after six months and a huge load of shit, this guy might be normal. And a good person to be around. Hopefully I won't screw it up by being a complete nutjob. (Who was it again, that called me "one of the most sanest person they know" just the other day?)

So now we can only wait and see. Hopefully it'll all gonna turn out for the better.